Marcotte is Still a Nasty, Lying Bitch

She is firing pearls of wisdom at us, and by that I mean idiocy, lies, and shitheadery. But what else is new?

I have a piece at the Guardian's CIF about this whole Anthony Weiner business, and why, even though this is primarily about attacking Weiner because he's a fighter, this fits into a larger pattern of right wing abuse of sexy young women for the high crime of being intellectually independent instead of just doing and believing what right wing ideologues instruct them to do and believe.

Wait a minute, the guy is a left-wing DEMOCRAT so what the fuck is she talking about? Now I admit it's very hard to find out that the guy is a left-wing Dem because news articles notoriously force you to "name that party" when it's a leftie in the dock. It's either not mentioned or listed so far down in the article that you're bored by the time you would reach it. (Republicans or, worse, Tea Party members, on the other hand, are trumpeted in the headline as such if they are suspected of wrongdoing.)

I learned that when I ran a bunch of hate mail I was getting in the wake of the Edwards fiasco. What I felt, in doing that, was that this was an intellectual exercise in learning to have perspective. I was being villainized as some horrible person because I made a few on-target and totally accurate jokes about Catholic dogma, but in fact the people who are the true nasty assholes are the right wing ideologues who sprung erections at the thought of having an excuse to unleash invective on a strange young woman whose main crime was uppitiness.

Talk about rewriting history! This asshole was encouraged to get off the Edwards campaign because she was busily writing anti-Catholic/anti-Christian hate screeds - again, NOT a surprise because she's ALWAYS been a hate-monger, and particularly against Christianity, but come ON, Marcotte, do you actually think this bullshit is going to fool anyone who was paying attention? Let's see her funny, accurate joke about Christianity/Catholicism that led to her getting "hate mail" and being so unfairly victimized. Warning - it's REALLY nasty.

"What if Mary had taken Plan B after the Lord filled her with his hot, white, sticky Holy Spirit? You’d have to justify your misogyny with another ancient mythology."

And people got mad over THAT? What a bunch of hate-filled wingnuts! I mean, damn, it was hilarious and true; what the hell could anyone get offended about THERE?

But you know, during the Edwards "fiasco" Iowahawk took this bullshitter on and produced a *very funny* AND *accurate* portrayal of how Marcotte really acts on a daily basis and just why there isn't a candidate in the world with two synapses firing who'd want to claim her as their ally. So since he's already done it, and done it better than I ever could, let's hear from Iowahawk on our dear friend Marcotte, shall we?

I particularly love how he's got her language down pat - if you think I swear, you should see her. I can't hold a candle to her in the f-bomb department! (Nor on the intellectual dishonesty and hypocrisy, but whatever.)

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2007/02/the_pandagon_pa.html

And we all know when she (constantly) screams "Christo-fascist Repugnican baby-making rape machines" there's just nothing offensive in THAT. Poor misunderstood bitch.

But he wasn't quite done with our Fair Blogger - here's one more funny for the road.

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2007/02/my_fair_blogger.html

Based on "Fascist Pygmalion" - and still totally accurate. A friend of mine used to say feminism was almost impossible to parody because anything you could say in jest had already been said in earnestness. But Marcotte parody writes itself...and Iowahawk managed to pull it off. Still, you can't really say he's exaggerating (he isn't). He just makes it funny.

In other news our other "totes" favorite blogger (God, I wish she's STOP saying "totes" and "wevs" - it doesn't make you sound smart or hip, honey; it makes you sound like an asshole) needs a whaaambulance for this news -

"Obviously the best way to stop all those welfare hand-outs making people rich across the country is to punish the people who need a social safety net the most:

Saying it is "unfair for Florida taxpayers to subsidize drug addiction," Gov. Rick Scott on Tuesday signed legislation requiring adults applying for welfare assistance to undergo drug screening.

"It's the right thing for taxpayers," Scott said after signing the measure. "It's the right thing for citizens of this state that need public assistance. We don't want to waste tax dollars. And also, we want to give people an incentive to not use drugs."

Shaming is not an incentive. It's a disincentive, and it's a totally ineffective one, at that."

So...illicit drug abusers "need" a "safety net" the most? Well, I guess that's true since in general they can't get themselves into a job or success situation, but that's hardly a good reason to give them "free" money (which of course isn't free at all.) And it's not really an incentive issue - the fact is drug abusers simply wouldn't get the aid (though if they have children they can appoint someone else to get benefits for them.) Shame is hardly the point.

Bonehead Math-Moron Feminist LIES In the News AGAIN!

Check out this great MSN video: Barbie’s 39” bust, 18” waist stir body-image debate

Go ahead and watch the video - I'm about to blow it out the fuck of the water anyway. I'm most certainly not the first to do so - it doesn't take a genius to dismantle this tired old feminist LIE; it just takes 5th grade math and 2 minutes of fact-checking. Which apparently news outlets and television shows can't be bothered to do. What's much sadder is that not a single college student on this campus seemed to be bothered to do it either, and THAT is sad. It's bad enough her fellow students (such as the deeply SHAMED males) didn't fact-check or do the calculations; but for the myth-spreader herSELF to make it to major news outlets and...hell, even to have built this monstrosity without ever checking a single calculation? Inexcusable. Simply INEXCUSABLE. Ok, let me tell it my own way; after all, THEY do. (They are busy **mythbuilding**, after all.)

Well my god, look at that! It's monstrous! Men, be ashamed, be very ashamed! Mattel, hang your greedy corporate heads and take your public castigation for perpetrating this vile filth on the youth of America! If Barbie were real, THAT is what she'd look like. In fact, according to the stats published many years ago (I first heard them about 11 years ago; they were years old then), let's see what Barbie would be if she were real (in addition to the bizarre freak of nature we see above) - and you know what? I can't even play along anymore; I'm gonna start shredding. Then I'll backpedal and shred this new bullshit. Then we'll move on.

Barbie doll sales are targeted to girls ages three to 12

Well zomg, call the police! You know, I loved Barbie as a young girl. You know who gets to decide if a 3 year old girl gets a Barbie Doll? Her parents. I didn't allow Barbies in the house when my children were growing up; not because of this nonsense, but because Barbie was very worldly and I preferred something a little less shallow. My daughter bonded instead with a particular baby doll, who we have to this day. She could wear real diapers, and my daughter's own newborn baby clothes, which was an endless attraction. So she had a doll she liked to nurture and care for, and there's nothing wrong with that. (My son? Liked to take its head off and look inside it to see how the arms and so forth moved, and how it was made. And that's OK too; though feminists are horrified that he approached it differently than a female did, right from day one. Boys should be just like girls, after all, and that wasn't innate; we must have SOCIALIZED him to think the way he did, dammit! Idiot femtards.)

A girl typically collects seven Barbies during her childhood

Uh, ok. I had one, a Ken, and at one point a skipper or whatever the hell the other one is called. At the age of 2 1/2 a girl down the street had a bunch of Barbies, and it was her favorite toy. Hmm...she is chubby but she does have huge boobs now that she's grown up...I guess she should be ashamed of them, if feminists are to be believed about Barbie dolls.

More than a billion dollars worth of Barbie dolls and accessories were sold in 1993

Cool, glad to hear someone was doing well in business. Oh, wait, that's supposed to be bad? Uh...you suck.

If Barbie were a real woman, she would be nearly six feet, weigh 110 pounds and take a size three shoe. Her BMI would be 16, which fits the criteria for anorexia

Well I don't know about that; it's possible. Of course if it was based on the proportions our moron math-phobic girl up above used, it's a complete lie. And who the hell knows how tall she'd be? That's a VARIABLE you can use to plug numbers into to get the proportions; there is NO way to determine if that model is representing a 4 foot 10 woman or a 6 foot 10 woman.

She would walk on all fours due to her proportions

You mean those phony proportions the dipshit keeps using even though they have been debunked time and time again? Yeah, could be. After all, she's got a head 6 sizes too small to represent the doll and a chest 8 sizes too big to represent the doll. And those arms and legs this chick put on her are ALL out of proportion to ANY doll or person in the world.

1965’s Slumber Party Barbie came with a bathroom scale and a diet book

Haha! Obviously it didn't last long and no one even remembers it. Barbie's been mighty busy since then becoming a doctor and an astronaut and every other profession you can name...oh yeah, Barbie's been everything there is...except a wife and mother. Oh, girls WANTED it; they WANTED a baby and a husband for Barbie...Mattel said, "Yeah, no." Instead they came out with cardboard Ken, the boyfriend, and a baby for Barbie to SIT with as well as a kid sister. Barbie herself mustn't give birth because that would be BORING and pedestrian.

According to the idiots at the Toronto Sun, who didn't bother to fact-check this old myth or make some SIMPLE calculations,

“Yes, you can get all sorts of professions, but Barbie herself doesn’t change. Her success is not linked to hard work and schooling; her achievement is linked to her physical appearance.”

Oh REALLY? They're quoting a national Eating Disorders Center leader there, Suzanne Phillips. Msssssssssss. Phillips do you have ANY fucking idea what it takes to be an astronaut? IT'S COCK-SMASHINGLY DIFFICULT AND NO ONE GETS THERE VIA THEIR APPEARANCE. It just. isn't. possible. Astronauts go through utterly gruelling physical and mental challenges year after year after year. It's like taking your SATs on a treadmill underwater every single day for 20 years, that's what it's like. Doctors have to go through 4 years of college, 3 years of medical school, excessive testing, grueling residency, and THEN they get to hang out their shingle. And we're not even talking about a specialty or a surgeon. Barbie winks at the medical board and gets a license? Yeah, I don't think so. And neither do you...unless you're a fool and an uneducated asshole. Which you just may be. After all, simple math is beyond you.

The dipshit who built the phony model speaks again:

Slayen writes that she had “fond times” with her Barbie during childhood and that she felt the doll represented perfection and the ideal for young girls. She put her own skirt on the Barbie sculpture “to serve as a reminder that the way Barbie looks, the way I once looked, is not healthy and is not normal – whatever normal might mean.”

Yeah, your disclaimer at the end? Belies your thesis. If there is no normal, Barbie is just as "normal" as anyone else, you elitist bitch. And frankly, you DO look like a Barbie doll. But whatever. Now why in the HELL did you think Barbie was the ideal and that YOU should look like her and be built like her?

See, I had "fond times" with Barbie too. And you know what I noticed? That she was clearly shaped like the women of the 19th century who wore corsets to cinch in their waists and make their chests and hips seem extra-large. 19", which is a REALISTIC measurement if Barbie were brought to LIFE as a 5'7" woman, was not an unusual waist measurement for women who wore corsets. In fact, they preferred 'em smaller than THAT. And you know what else? It was a nightmare trying to get pants with a fitted waist onto that doll (even with a snap and a slot opening in back) so it never occurred to me that it was a REALISTIC goal to attain. Who wanted to go through that pain in the ass just to get their pants on every day? I mean if you're wearing hoop skirts and bloomers, I guess it's one thing, but for pants, it wasn't anything desirable, even if it could be achieved. Which it can. But who wanted it? And since when does anorexia give one a huge hips and bust FFS??? Come on, don't blame your fucking anorexia on an unrealistic doll (though not nearly freakishly unrealistic as your ridiculous model) because we ALL know anorexics do NOT have big blooming hips and bust like Barbie does. Frankly, that model you built just demonstrates your own body dysmorphia.

Now, go back to the video and click STOP directly on 1:41. Yes, the one where they show her idiot model next to an actual Barbie doll. I'll wait.

Waiting.

Well, wasn't THAT enlightening? What did you see there? Did that model look REMOTELY like the doll? No? Yeah, see, we don't even NEED to do the math to see the obvious (but we will anyway, to thoroughly humiliate these non-fact-checking fools) do we? For one thing, the HEAD she has on that thing is ludicrously tiny. I didn't know Barbie had anencephaly, but hers does. (Apparently the mind isn't very important to Ms. College Student.) Barbie has a very long neck (oops, hers doesn't) and a large head. In fact, Barbie's head nearly eclipses her chest, which is NOT freakishly large...it's large in proportion to her corset-sized waist, as are her hips, but her head isn't dwarfed by monstrous tits. And her arms are indeed thin, but HER (Ms. College) arms are pretty much the ACTUAL doll size rather than blown up to real proportions. Foul, Ms. College, Foul!

Then we get the genius "Doctor" of Eating Disorders (I'm doubting an MD here; she probably has a PhD in women's studies, which isn't a real discipline) - who proclaims that the model lets parents say with confidence, "Barbie may be fun and games, but she's - (significant tone here) - NOT REAL." Well slap my ass and call me Sally! (Er, don't.) My God, it's a REVELATION! Barbie ISN'T REAL.

I mean, I wasn't quite confident before; every day I would wake up and fear that the Barbies of the neighborhood were going to come to life, join forces, and mount a miniature creepy-ass invasion of some sort, probably involving paella and earthworms, but NOW, thanks to this model, I KNOW Barbie isn't real! Phew, thanks for setting us straight on that!

Ohhhhh dear. I just went further in the video - bitch is crosseyed FFS. No wonder she has no sense of proportion. Too bad she has no head for numbers - it's funny, because when the talking BARBIE said, "Math is hard," the feminists lost their shit. But...apparently it's too hard for ALL these women. These numbers, as our freak-model builder, Ms. College, acknowledges, are NOT something she checked out, but merely based on the National Eating Disorders website. And THOSE are based on numbers that came out of Australia many years ago, which were debunked then, and are quite easily debunked now, if you are blind and can't SEE that the dolls clearly do NOT have these proportions. (And shame on you, Mattel for never dispelling them, but instead pandering to the feminists and making statements like "These dolls are not based on real human proportions". Fire your public relations people and get the guy out of the fucking basement who builds the models and has actually mastered grammar school math, okay? Yeah, that one, in the goggles and overalls. HE'S your PR man. He will, once he's done laughing at this bullshit, set it straight once and for all.

As I'm about to do, with the help of Thomas Clough this time. (Yes, of course I could do it too - but I don't have a Barbie handy and I THOUGHT this shit was over with ten years ago since it's been debunked for so long.) Let's see the measurements of an actual doll and how they scale up -

First, get a Barbie and strip her naked.
Second, wrap ribbons of paper around her bust, waist and hips. Mark the circumference of each.
Third, lay the ribbons flat and measure each ribbon.
Fourth, choose a height for Barbie. An average height would be 5 foot 7 inches. After that, its all fifth-grade arithmetic.

My butt-naked Barbie measured 11.173 inches from her heel to the crown of her head. If that 11.173 inches is equal to 67 inches (5’7”), then my Barbie’s measurements are: bust 29.257 inches, waist 18.937 inches, hips 30.267 inches. If I assumed that Barbie’s height was 72 inches (6 feet), then her bust increases to a modest 31.44 inches, not the 39 inches that fevered feminists insist is warping the minds of American girls. The reduced waist-to-hip ratio helps Barbie’s clothes fit better; that is what Mattel means when they say she is not modeled on typical human proportions; it was not a reference to her bosom. Barbie is all about the clothes.

Ok so I would have said "buck-naked" but that's me. Now go search THOSE measurements and see what you get. Hmmm...pretty normal looking women to me; slightly cinched at the waist (not even nearly as much as I thought, either) and WITHOUT Pamela Anderson tits. Gee, who'da thunk? Suddenly, Japan Barbie looks pretty awesome again.

Japan Barbie® doll is inspired by the beautiful noblewomen of her country who were well trained in the martial arts, and experts in horsemanship, swordsmanship, and archery. She comes dressed in a striking red patterned kimono with black detailing. Multi-colored knee-high platform sandals and golden fan add to her allure. Red and white flowers accent her long dark hair, and striking face paint gives her an exotic air.

Sweet. I totally would have wanted one.

“Not only are her looks unattainable, but she also comes with a heavy price tag. So from a socioeconomic angle, there’s an aspiration to being able to afford a Barbie and her many accessories.” Remember that Barbie and those accessories can take up a whole aisle in any Toys R Us store. (Says the Eating Disorders chick.)

Oh, fuck you in the neck. You know the solution to that? DON'T FUCKING BUY IT. I had Barbie stuff, and some cool stuff, too, but I wanted the Dream House. I'm willing to bet my grandfather would probably have bought me one for Christmas despite its $300 price tag (we're talking 70s prices here!) but FFS how SPOILED does a kid have to be before they're insufferable?

So I didn't get the Dream House; you know what happened? I spent countless hours rigging up my grandmother's rusty old 2-level wheeled serving cart with shoeboxes and yarn and tinkertoys (the elevator) and MAKING stuff for this actually superior "house". My friend and I would play with this stuff by the hour, and rig up all sorts of shit for it. Imagination and a few simple basic supplies are a "poor" kid's best friend...or any kid who doesn't get every single thing she wants. And frankly, if you can't control a kid's tantrums, don't TAKE them into a toy store or a specific aisle. Learn how to say no. Practice delayed gratification. These are LIFE lessons, not just lessons for children. Socio-economic my ass; pushover parents are the problem there. I got toys once a year, at Christmas. Granted, I got a LOT of them, but my mother bought stuff all year long and it was ALL saved for the year-end orgy. My kids got small treats throughout the year and we didn't practice such a crazy Christmas; everyone does it their own way and within their own means. You don't let commercials rule your life; and you know, they aren't ORDERS, they're ADS. It IS possible to resist them.

The image of the papier mache Barbie brought to life is grotesque, says Phillips. “It mirrors the unrealistic and distorted images we see every day. We don’t see an image in a magazine or on TV that somehow hasn’t been altered. We lose sight of what is real and what is fiction.”

Yeah, even at 3 a girl knows this is a doll and not a real woman. I mean, she's, as Mattel points out (which is actually kind of a cool "fuck-you, you idiots" statement if one wants to take it that way) 11 some inches tall and 7 OUNCES heavy. She's got an unrealistic face and she has more clothes than any human girl ever hoped. Yeah, she's pretty damned fictional, and anyone who doesn't know that is seriously disturbed.

And let's see, Mr. Clough quotes this bizarre warning from the pages of "Ebony" magazine...holy hell, THIS is the thinking that's at the root of the evil that is feminism and WHY it's so very very deranged.

Writing in her Sistertalk page in Ebony magazine, Laura B. Randolph says, “You may want to make sure you’re sitting down before you read this next part. Okay, now breathe deeply. In, out. For years, people have hypothesized that, if translated into human proportions, Barbie’s measurements would be 38-18-34. Mattel has never confirmed or denied these measurements . . .”

Ms. Randolph frets that, “If we aren’t careful, the outsize measurements of a little plastic doll can send all the wrong messages to a little living doll who is at an age when she is forming her notions of beauty.”

HYPOTHESIZED??? HY-fucking-POTHESIZED??? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU CRETIN? What do you MEAN confirm or deny???? What the HELL is wrong with you? Did you even GO to math class? Do you have any IDEA what scaling something up is about, or proportions? Considering that feminism relies heavily on doctored numbers, statistics (which actually ARE somewhat liquid, as opposed to proportions, which are NOT) and all kinds of suspect math, I propose that we scrap the whole damn THING now that we can prove beyond a shadow of a DOUBT that they're full of SHIT.

Let me break it down for you, Ms. Randolph. Get a Barbie doll. Take the measurements. Scale them up for a woman of whatever height you prefer. Check the numbers. Get ice-pack for burning cheeks of embarrassment. While applying, ponder your written apology. Oh, wait. You don't even understand the CONCEPT of the basic mathematics involved. Ok, Ms. Randolph. Begin with grade 1 (go back further if necessary.) Take a math class in grade 1 mathematics. Continue through the grades until you get to proportions and scales. Then follow above steps again. We breathlessly await your humiliation. Except it's already been achieved by your ludicrous notion that these numbers are "hypothetical" or that Mattel needs to "confirm or deny" what anyone can figure out (or see, if they actually look at the doll) LMAO. Idiots. Feminist idiots. Racially motivated idiots. Socioeconomically motivated idiots. Assuming parents are idiots. Idiot college boy who is now "deeply ashamed" since he's seen the grossly distorted chicken-wire sculpture Ms. College Crosseyes built. (Just WHAT he has to be ashamed of, Mister Sensitive Long-hair, he didn't tell us. Perhaps his Freida Fuck-dolly is more realistic than the insane model this chick built. But she doesn't mind; she's made of plastic. He'll spend the rest of his life in self-flagellation and writing feminist poetry as the math department snickers in their lattes.)

Yet another Barbie statue, dubbed Get Real Barbie, was also created a few years ago – this time by a then 14-year-old teen who was inspired by a proportion lesson in her geometry class.

Another one with insane proportions. You know what would have happened if I'd come up with such a demonstrably FALSE set of numbers in my 8th grade Geometry class? My teacher would have marked my paper with a big red X and perhaps been nice enough to say, "It's an interesting idea but your figures are completely wrong. Please redo the math." She/he MIGHT have even sat down with me and shown me exactly how and why the numbers were incorrect...after all, it's NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. But I feel like a victim of Brain Salad Surgery anyway, after this. God, I hate feminism.

And I leave you with your moment of Zen; here's a real (and amazingly hot) woman who is actually closer to the proportions crazy wonk-eye girl's model sports than to the Barbie doll does (this woman's chest is much bigger and her head of normal size) -

Enjoy!

Vulva Smell Potion?

Taint Misbehavin'