Friday, May 20, 2011

Bonehead Math-Moron Feminist LIES In the News AGAIN!

Check out this great MSN video: Barbie’s 39” bust, 18” waist stir body-image debate

Go ahead and watch the video - I'm about to blow it out the fuck of the water anyway. I'm most certainly not the first to do so - it doesn't take a genius to dismantle this tired old feminist LIE; it just takes 5th grade math and 2 minutes of fact-checking. Which apparently news outlets and television shows can't be bothered to do. What's much sadder is that not a single college student on this campus seemed to be bothered to do it either, and THAT is sad. It's bad enough her fellow students (such as the deeply SHAMED males) didn't fact-check or do the calculations; but for the myth-spreader herSELF to make it to major news outlets and...hell, even to have built this monstrosity without ever checking a single calculation? Inexcusable. Simply INEXCUSABLE. Ok, let me tell it my own way; after all, THEY do. (They are busy **mythbuilding**, after all.)

Well my god, look at that! It's monstrous! Men, be ashamed, be very ashamed! Mattel, hang your greedy corporate heads and take your public castigation for perpetrating this vile filth on the youth of America! If Barbie were real, THAT is what she'd look like. In fact, according to the stats published many years ago (I first heard them about 11 years ago; they were years old then), let's see what Barbie would be if she were real (in addition to the bizarre freak of nature we see above) - and you know what? I can't even play along anymore; I'm gonna start shredding. Then I'll backpedal and shred this new bullshit. Then we'll move on.

Barbie doll sales are targeted to girls ages three to 12

Well zomg, call the police! You know, I loved Barbie as a young girl. You know who gets to decide if a 3 year old girl gets a Barbie Doll? Her parents. I didn't allow Barbies in the house when my children were growing up; not because of this nonsense, but because Barbie was very worldly and I preferred something a little less shallow. My daughter bonded instead with a particular baby doll, who we have to this day. She could wear real diapers, and my daughter's own newborn baby clothes, which was an endless attraction. So she had a doll she liked to nurture and care for, and there's nothing wrong with that. (My son? Liked to take its head off and look inside it to see how the arms and so forth moved, and how it was made. And that's OK too; though feminists are horrified that he approached it differently than a female did, right from day one. Boys should be just like girls, after all, and that wasn't innate; we must have SOCIALIZED him to think the way he did, dammit! Idiot femtards.)

A girl typically collects seven Barbies during her childhood

Uh, ok. I had one, a Ken, and at one point a skipper or whatever the hell the other one is called. At the age of 2 1/2 a girl down the street had a bunch of Barbies, and it was her favorite toy. Hmm...she is chubby but she does have huge boobs now that she's grown up...I guess she should be ashamed of them, if feminists are to be believed about Barbie dolls.

More than a billion dollars worth of Barbie dolls and accessories were sold in 1993

Cool, glad to hear someone was doing well in business. Oh, wait, that's supposed to be bad? suck.

If Barbie were a real woman, she would be nearly six feet, weigh 110 pounds and take a size three shoe. Her BMI would be 16, which fits the criteria for anorexia

Well I don't know about that; it's possible. Of course if it was based on the proportions our moron math-phobic girl up above used, it's a complete lie. And who the hell knows how tall she'd be? That's a VARIABLE you can use to plug numbers into to get the proportions; there is NO way to determine if that model is representing a 4 foot 10 woman or a 6 foot 10 woman.

She would walk on all fours due to her proportions

You mean those phony proportions the dipshit keeps using even though they have been debunked time and time again? Yeah, could be. After all, she's got a head 6 sizes too small to represent the doll and a chest 8 sizes too big to represent the doll. And those arms and legs this chick put on her are ALL out of proportion to ANY doll or person in the world.

1965’s Slumber Party Barbie came with a bathroom scale and a diet book

Haha! Obviously it didn't last long and no one even remembers it. Barbie's been mighty busy since then becoming a doctor and an astronaut and every other profession you can name...oh yeah, Barbie's been everything there is...except a wife and mother. Oh, girls WANTED it; they WANTED a baby and a husband for Barbie...Mattel said, "Yeah, no." Instead they came out with cardboard Ken, the boyfriend, and a baby for Barbie to SIT with as well as a kid sister. Barbie herself mustn't give birth because that would be BORING and pedestrian.

According to the idiots at the Toronto Sun, who didn't bother to fact-check this old myth or make some SIMPLE calculations,
“Yes, you can get all sorts of professions, but Barbie herself doesn’t change. Her success is not linked to hard work and schooling; her achievement is linked to her physical appearance.”
Oh REALLY? They're quoting a national Eating Disorders Center leader there, Suzanne Phillips. Msssssssssss. Phillips do you have ANY fucking idea what it takes to be an astronaut? IT'S COCK-SMASHINGLY DIFFICULT AND NO ONE GETS THERE VIA THEIR APPEARANCE. It just. isn't. possible. Astronauts go through utterly gruelling physical and mental challenges year after year after year. It's like taking your SATs on a treadmill underwater every single day for 20 years, that's what it's like. Doctors have to go through 4 years of college, 3 years of medical school, excessive testing, grueling residency, and THEN they get to hang out their shingle. And we're not even talking about a specialty or a surgeon. Barbie winks at the medical board and gets a license? Yeah, I don't think so. And neither do you...unless you're a fool and an uneducated asshole. Which you just may be. After all, simple math is beyond you.

The dipshit who built the phony model speaks again:
Slayen writes that she had “fond times” with her Barbie during childhood and that she felt the doll represented perfection and the ideal for young girls. She put her own skirt on the Barbie sculpture “to serve as a reminder that the way Barbie looks, the way I once looked, is not healthy and is not normal – whatever normal might mean.”

Yeah, your disclaimer at the end? Belies your thesis. If there is no normal, Barbie is just as "normal" as anyone else, you elitist bitch. And frankly, you DO look like a Barbie doll. But whatever. Now why in the HELL did you think Barbie was the ideal and that YOU should look like her and be built like her?

See, I had "fond times" with Barbie too. And you know what I noticed? That she was clearly shaped like the women of the 19th century who wore corsets to cinch in their waists and make their chests and hips seem extra-large. 19", which is a REALISTIC measurement if Barbie were brought to LIFE as a 5'7" woman, was not an unusual waist measurement for women who wore corsets. In fact, they preferred 'em smaller than THAT. And you know what else? It was a nightmare trying to get pants with a fitted waist onto that doll (even with a snap and a slot opening in back) so it never occurred to me that it was a REALISTIC goal to attain. Who wanted to go through that pain in the ass just to get their pants on every day? I mean if you're wearing hoop skirts and bloomers, I guess it's one thing, but for pants, it wasn't anything desirable, even if it could be achieved. Which it can. But who wanted it? And since when does anorexia give one a huge hips and bust FFS??? Come on, don't blame your fucking anorexia on an unrealistic doll (though not nearly freakishly unrealistic as your ridiculous model) because we ALL know anorexics do NOT have big blooming hips and bust like Barbie does. Frankly, that model you built just demonstrates your own body dysmorphia.

Now, go back to the video and click STOP directly on 1:41. Yes, the one where they show her idiot model next to an actual Barbie doll. I'll wait.


Well, wasn't THAT enlightening? What did you see there? Did that model look REMOTELY like the doll? No? Yeah, see, we don't even NEED to do the math to see the obvious (but we will anyway, to thoroughly humiliate these non-fact-checking fools) do we? For one thing, the HEAD she has on that thing is ludicrously tiny. I didn't know Barbie had anencephaly, but hers does. (Apparently the mind isn't very important to Ms. College Student.) Barbie has a very long neck (oops, hers doesn't) and a large head. In fact, Barbie's head nearly eclipses her chest, which is NOT freakishly's large in proportion to her corset-sized waist, as are her hips, but her head isn't dwarfed by monstrous tits. And her arms are indeed thin, but HER (Ms. College) arms are pretty much the ACTUAL doll size rather than blown up to real proportions. Foul, Ms. College, Foul!

Then we get the genius "Doctor" of Eating Disorders (I'm doubting an MD here; she probably has a PhD in women's studies, which isn't a real discipline) - who proclaims that the model lets parents say with confidence, "Barbie may be fun and games, but she's - (significant tone here) - NOT REAL." Well slap my ass and call me Sally! (Er, don't.) My God, it's a REVELATION! Barbie ISN'T REAL.

I mean, I wasn't quite confident before; every day I would wake up and fear that the Barbies of the neighborhood were going to come to life, join forces, and mount a miniature creepy-ass invasion of some sort, probably involving paella and earthworms, but NOW, thanks to this model, I KNOW Barbie isn't real! Phew, thanks for setting us straight on that!

Ohhhhh dear. I just went further in the video - bitch is crosseyed FFS. No wonder she has no sense of proportion. Too bad she has no head for numbers - it's funny, because when the talking BARBIE said, "Math is hard," the feminists lost their shit. But...apparently it's too hard for ALL these women. These numbers, as our freak-model builder, Ms. College, acknowledges, are NOT something she checked out, but merely based on the National Eating Disorders website. And THOSE are based on numbers that came out of Australia many years ago, which were debunked then, and are quite easily debunked now, if you are blind and can't SEE that the dolls clearly do NOT have these proportions. (And shame on you, Mattel for never dispelling them, but instead pandering to the feminists and making statements like "These dolls are not based on real human proportions". Fire your public relations people and get the guy out of the fucking basement who builds the models and has actually mastered grammar school math, okay? Yeah, that one, in the goggles and overalls. HE'S your PR man. He will, once he's done laughing at this bullshit, set it straight once and for all.

As I'm about to do, with the help of Thomas Clough this time. (Yes, of course I could do it too - but I don't have a Barbie handy and I THOUGHT this shit was over with ten years ago since it's been debunked for so long.) Let's see the measurements of an actual doll and how they scale up -
First, get a Barbie and strip her naked.
Second, wrap ribbons of paper around her bust, waist and hips. Mark the circumference of each.
Third, lay the ribbons flat and measure each ribbon.
Fourth, choose a height for Barbie. An average height would be 5 foot 7 inches. After that, its all fifth-grade arithmetic.

My butt-naked Barbie measured 11.173 inches from her heel to the crown of her head. If that 11.173 inches is equal to 67 inches (5’7”), then my Barbie’s measurements are: bust 29.257 inches, waist 18.937 inches, hips 30.267 inches. If I assumed that Barbie’s height was 72 inches (6 feet), then her bust increases to a modest 31.44 inches, not the 39 inches that fevered feminists insist is warping the minds of American girls. The reduced waist-to-hip ratio helps Barbie’s clothes fit better; that is what Mattel means when they say she is not modeled on typical human proportions; it was not a reference to her bosom. Barbie is all about the clothes.

Ok so I would have said "buck-naked" but that's me. Now go search THOSE measurements and see what you get. Hmmm...pretty normal looking women to me; slightly cinched at the waist (not even nearly as much as I thought, either) and WITHOUT Pamela Anderson tits. Gee, who'da thunk? Suddenly, Japan Barbie looks pretty awesome again.

Japan Barbie® doll is inspired by the beautiful noblewomen of her country who were well trained in the martial arts, and experts in horsemanship, swordsmanship, and archery. She comes dressed in a striking red patterned kimono with black detailing. Multi-colored knee-high platform sandals and golden fan add to her allure. Red and white flowers accent her long dark hair, and striking face paint gives her an exotic air.

Sweet. I totally would have wanted one.

“Not only are her looks unattainable, but she also comes with a heavy price tag. So from a socioeconomic angle, there’s an aspiration to being able to afford a Barbie and her many accessories.” Remember that Barbie and those accessories can take up a whole aisle in any Toys R Us store. (Says the Eating Disorders chick.)

Oh, fuck you in the neck. You know the solution to that? DON'T FUCKING BUY IT. I had Barbie stuff, and some cool stuff, too, but I wanted the Dream House. I'm willing to bet my grandfather would probably have bought me one for Christmas despite its $300 price tag (we're talking 70s prices here!) but FFS how SPOILED does a kid have to be before they're insufferable?

So I didn't get the Dream House; you know what happened? I spent countless hours rigging up my grandmother's rusty old 2-level wheeled serving cart with shoeboxes and yarn and tinkertoys (the elevator) and MAKING stuff for this actually superior "house". My friend and I would play with this stuff by the hour, and rig up all sorts of shit for it. Imagination and a few simple basic supplies are a "poor" kid's best friend...or any kid who doesn't get every single thing she wants. And frankly, if you can't control a kid's tantrums, don't TAKE them into a toy store or a specific aisle. Learn how to say no. Practice delayed gratification. These are LIFE lessons, not just lessons for children. Socio-economic my ass; pushover parents are the problem there. I got toys once a year, at Christmas. Granted, I got a LOT of them, but my mother bought stuff all year long and it was ALL saved for the year-end orgy. My kids got small treats throughout the year and we didn't practice such a crazy Christmas; everyone does it their own way and within their own means. You don't let commercials rule your life; and you know, they aren't ORDERS, they're ADS. It IS possible to resist them.

The image of the papier mache Barbie brought to life is grotesque, says Phillips. “It mirrors the unrealistic and distorted images we see every day. We don’t see an image in a magazine or on TV that somehow hasn’t been altered. We lose sight of what is real and what is fiction.”

Yeah, even at 3 a girl knows this is a doll and not a real woman. I mean, she's, as Mattel points out (which is actually kind of a cool "fuck-you, you idiots" statement if one wants to take it that way) 11 some inches tall and 7 OUNCES heavy. She's got an unrealistic face and she has more clothes than any human girl ever hoped. Yeah, she's pretty damned fictional, and anyone who doesn't know that is seriously disturbed.

And let's see, Mr. Clough quotes this bizarre warning from the pages of "Ebony" magazine...holy hell, THIS is the thinking that's at the root of the evil that is feminism and WHY it's so very very deranged.

Writing in her Sistertalk page in Ebony magazine, Laura B. Randolph says, “You may want to make sure you’re sitting down before you read this next part. Okay, now breathe deeply. In, out. For years, people have hypothesized that, if translated into human proportions, Barbie’s measurements would be 38-18-34. Mattel has never confirmed or denied these measurements . . .”

Ms. Randolph frets that, “If we aren’t careful, the outsize measurements of a little plastic doll can send all the wrong messages to a little living doll who is at an age when she is forming her notions of beauty.”

HYPOTHESIZED??? HY-fucking-POTHESIZED??? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU CRETIN? What do you MEAN confirm or deny???? What the HELL is wrong with you? Did you even GO to math class? Do you have any IDEA what scaling something up is about, or proportions? Considering that feminism relies heavily on doctored numbers, statistics (which actually ARE somewhat liquid, as opposed to proportions, which are NOT) and all kinds of suspect math, I propose that we scrap the whole damn THING now that we can prove beyond a shadow of a DOUBT that they're full of SHIT.

Let me break it down for you, Ms. Randolph. Get a Barbie doll. Take the measurements. Scale them up for a woman of whatever height you prefer. Check the numbers. Get ice-pack for burning cheeks of embarrassment. While applying, ponder your written apology. Oh, wait. You don't even understand the CONCEPT of the basic mathematics involved. Ok, Ms. Randolph. Begin with grade 1 (go back further if necessary.) Take a math class in grade 1 mathematics. Continue through the grades until you get to proportions and scales. Then follow above steps again. We breathlessly await your humiliation. Except it's already been achieved by your ludicrous notion that these numbers are "hypothetical" or that Mattel needs to "confirm or deny" what anyone can figure out (or see, if they actually look at the doll) LMAO. Idiots. Feminist idiots. Racially motivated idiots. Socioeconomically motivated idiots. Assuming parents are idiots. Idiot college boy who is now "deeply ashamed" since he's seen the grossly distorted chicken-wire sculpture Ms. College Crosseyes built. (Just WHAT he has to be ashamed of, Mister Sensitive Long-hair, he didn't tell us. Perhaps his Freida Fuck-dolly is more realistic than the insane model this chick built. But she doesn't mind; she's made of plastic. He'll spend the rest of his life in self-flagellation and writing feminist poetry as the math department snickers in their lattes.)

Yet another Barbie statue, dubbed Get Real Barbie, was also created a few years ago – this time by a then 14-year-old teen who was inspired by a proportion lesson in her geometry class.

Another one with insane proportions. You know what would have happened if I'd come up with such a demonstrably FALSE set of numbers in my 8th grade Geometry class? My teacher would have marked my paper with a big red X and perhaps been nice enough to say, "It's an interesting idea but your figures are completely wrong. Please redo the math." She/he MIGHT have even sat down with me and shown me exactly how and why the numbers were incorrect...after all, it's NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. But I feel like a victim of Brain Salad Surgery anyway, after this. God, I hate feminism.

And I leave you with your moment of Zen; here's a real (and amazingly hot) woman who is actually closer to the proportions crazy wonk-eye girl's model sports than to the Barbie doll does (this woman's chest is much bigger and her head of normal size) -



  1. >> . . . Ohhhhh dear. I just went further in the video - bitch is crosseyed FFS. No wonder she has no sense of proportion.


    I'm only halfway through this blog tit-- er... "BIT!" - "blog bit", I mean. Outta time for now and had to stop at the Japanese Barbie. But I will return to read the rest as soonz I got some mo' time.

    That "he-she" who felt shame about the Barbie issue, should have felt shame instead about the fact that (s)he looks more like a chick than does my Sister!

    Well, I'm off now to the grocery store. Got an urge to get me a gallon of milk. (Funny... I don't ever drink milk.)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

  2. Ah, well you could get some Hershey's syrup or Ovaltine to put in that milk to make it drinkable. Just a thought.

    You're right -that unfortunate boy is quite girly. I'm still sitting here waiting for part 2 (which will never come, of course) to see WHAT he was talking about - ashamed of WHAT?! Weiiiird. (But yeah, perhaps he ought to consider the image he's passing on to the world and be ashamed or happy about THAT!) I mean, it's like, Dude, you couldn't be more effeminate if you tuck-and-taped every day before donning a dress (and I'm not already sure he doesn't) so what oppression do you think YOU are visiting on women? And actually, what oppression do you actually imagine women suffer under in the US? Because er...yeah, it doesn't really exist. Your friends are having a bit of a piss on you there.

  3. D'oh! It just hit me, the milk thing...joke, right? I'm not always too swift to pick them up; sorry :D

  4. >> . . . D'oh! It just hit me, the milk thing...joke, right? I'm not always too swift to pick them up; sorry :D

    Of course! If you were a guy, you'd-a got it right away. (I never make anatomy jokes, particularly about the female chest, but I just couldn't resist this one, since her phony Barbie is just so... so... SO!)

    I think what that girlie-dude is supposedly feeling "shame" about is his participation, by virtue of simply being a male [sic], in causing women all sorts of psychological issues about body image. I guess, by his thinking Barbie has a hot bod, he's somehow contributing to the unrealistic desire that young girls feel to try to measure up to the Barbie body ideal. (Or some such fertilizer along those lines.) Truth is, he's just a womanish weenie.

    OK, finished reading it. You were certainly inspired by this topic, Shredder.

    I'm thinking that if Ms. College really feels so inadequate by not "measuring up" to Barbie doll, she ought to just go get the implants and stop obsessing over 'em.

    I'm not being serious, because I strongly feel that women are making a big mistake (pun intended) in having breast enhancement procedures performed on them. I once even entertained the idea of writing a blog bit about that subject for my "Stuffs" blog, but decided against it. I was too uncertain about how that would be perceived and how it would go over. However, there is a part of me that suspects perhaps this whole Barbie issue with Ms. College might actually have something to do with an unfortunate perception on her part that her figure doesn't "stack up" against Barbie's and her belief that all men desire a woman built like Barbie. Although I acknowlede that my suspicion might be incorrect. (Maybe she's a lezbo and gives no thought to what she believes guys desire.)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

  5. Yanno, my husband loathes fake boobs - would rather have small and real than big and fake. I don't blame him there, not that I'm either :P

    I definitely think this chick's body dismorphic problems are at the root of that FREAK of an effigy she's created; no one could see it that way without some real problems in their heads, IMO.

    If that girly-boy feels guilty over THAT he's sure worried about the wrong thing. No one is oppressed by Barbie - we love our Barbie dolls. He should feel guilty if he doesn't buy us the Dream House, that's all. Tell him all we need is money. Preferably in hundreds and fifties. Or gold. And diamonds too. That ought to do it. He can ease his guilt all day if he feels like it, so long as that wallet's full. Talk is cheap, pal! Pony up! Ease that conscience, little man! (And you know, I like long hair but...nah, I like long hair. You can leave it but lift some weights or something; you're too feminine.)

    (Sorry, I'm in kind of a good mood what with Harold Camping's End of the World deal going on today; just playing around a little.)

    Yikes, I hope Barbie's not a lesbian! :( That would blow. I mean, I know Ken leaves much to be desired (like, an actual male body? Opposable thumbs? Bending knees? Unmolded hair?) but he's still better than Skipper or something. I used to have facial hair ken - he came with a sheet of fuzzy, adhesive-backed material. You just cut out a mustache or a beard, peeled off the back, and stuck it on his face. Instant 70s porn star! (So long as you left his pants on, of course.)

    And honestly I could not believe when they posed Burt Reynolds, who I never found a heart-stopper, buck naked in cosmo and laid out like a Playboy centerfold...what the hell? THAT isn't what any of us wanted to see! JEEZ, cover that shit up, you fools! If we want a playboy-style layout we'll LOOK at Playboy. Ain't no one needs to see BURT in that condition. Sheesh. Don't they know we want something far more subtle? No, they don't. Fools. They really thought turning the genre around like that would do the same thing for chicks - well good luck with that. Some of us never wanted to be men, no matter WHAT Gloria Steinem told you. She can get the hell out.

  6. Plus Burt was ridiculously hairy. You know, I'm beginning to think...yep. If it came down to between Burt and girly-boy I'd actually have to vote for girly-boy. We just gotta toughen him up a little and kick his ass until he stops with the "shame" deal. He could play it kind of like Robert Powell did in Jesus of Nazareth; that was an awesome character. Or like Christopher Plummer in the Sound of Music. See, they needed me behind the scenes of this stuff - I coulda told 'em what chicks really like. And I honestly don't believe any of them really want those enormous, distended boobs like Pam Anderson - who convinces them to do that crap? Anybody who likes that isn't even worth the time of day, so why bother? Yuck. I'll take surface sensitivity for a hundred, Chuck! (Who wants to be numb?)

  7. >> . . . no one could see it that way without some real problems in their heads, IMO.

    IMO 2.

    >> . . . Tell him all we need is money. Preferably in hundreds and fifties. Or gold. And diamonds too. That ought to do it. He can ease his guilt all day if he feels like it, so long as that wallet's full. Talk is cheap, pal! Pony up!

    Ha! Right. Let him go sell that girlish body of his on Hollywood Boulevard until he’s raised enough money to buy women what they REALLY want, and then he can “Just Say, No” to shame and guilt.

    >> . . . (Sorry, I'm in kind of a good mood what with Harold Camping's End of the World deal going on today; just playing around a little.)

    I was a little disappointed when I didn’t wake up dead this morning.

    Didja see where I made reference to that also, on my latest “Stuffs” installment?

    >> . . . Yikes, I hope Barbie's not a lesbian! :( That would blow.

    Oh, no, I wasn’t referring to Barbie; I was referring to Ms. College.

    Although now that you mention it, I suppose we should be surprised that Mattel hasn’t yet come out with the 21st Century edition of Barbie – a lezbo version, or one who swings BOTH ways, with alternate clothes for when she’s feeling like a dyke or when she’s feeling “straight”.

    Heck, Hallmark has moved toward making greeting cards geared for “same-sex” weddings, so why not Mattel with Barbie?

    >> . . . And I honestly don't believe any of them really want those enormous, distended boobs like Pam Anderson - who convinces them to do that crap?

    Actually, in my opinion, women have been sold a bill of goods. They’re convinced that all men want big-chested females, and the bigger the better. And they want nothing but blondes too, of course. “Big-Boobed Blondes” – that’s what most women think most men desire. And yes, it’s true, a significant percentage of the male population does desire just that.

    BUT! . . . I think women by and large would be surprised to learn just how many men are not looking for that at all. Oh, I could definitely do a blog bit about this, and I think it would be a blog bit that a good number of women (especially younger women who have not married yet, and are still seeking a mate) could benefit from reading. But… I’ll pass on that idea and leave it to some other bloke.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    ‘Loyal American Underground’

  8. Well, you could always post it here if you wanted.

    And, you know, it might be hilarious. Since feminists and many lesbians actually WANT to do the opposite of what MENNNNNN (say in shrill, sarcastic voice) want, maybe we'll know all the feminists in future by their huge fake tits and bleach-blond hair and stilettos. Then the rest of us can keep laughing at them and wear whatever we want and keep our lovely natural boobs (complete with sensitivity for everyone's enjoyment). They can shoot all of them into space when they become astronauts because they're so "pretty" and we'll all live happily ever after. The few who don't make it can populate Hugh Hefner's mansion and play therapeutic volleyball with the old man on his scooter forever. I'm liking this.

    Yeah, I was sorry not to wake up dead too - damn, you, Harold Camping for playing with our hopes!

    I know you were talking about Ms. Wonk-eye; I just took it in the other direction lol. Lesbian Barbie can come with a hot pink and electric blue crew cut, sleeveless camo, and drive a truck. Hey, I even found a Barbie modeled after the freak effigy Ms. College Eye built - she's right after the lady at the microphone and she's called Boob-Job Barbie (everybody knows that compared to the insanity of boob jobs today, Barbie's flat-chested) -

    Thanks for the link Mr. McCarthy; I will visit :)

  9. After all, most girls chop their Barbies' hair off down to the "dots" anyway, so we don't have far to go.